A New Way in the New Year

2008 has come and gone as 2009 approaches

I have done a lot of thinking about the things that await in the new year.
It excites me.

There will be a lot of changes,
some expected some not.

But in either case I look forward to it in much anticipation.

I hope that 2009 brings:

happiness
health
opportunity for growth
adventure
peace
gratitude
patience
knowledge
love

Inspired by Jim Carrey in 'Yes Man', a CD and a commencement address, that I randomly came across. I have decided against making any New Years Resolutions and that instead I will be making a change to my attitude and my approach to life.

I will start "living fearlessly in a fearful world". I will say "yes" to new opportunities. To things that I don't like. To things outside my comfort zone. To things that I fear.

This will be a year of growth in many ways that are unknown.
And I am looking forward to each day.


I am grateful for the things that 2008 brought.

I have learned what it means to live, to love, to lose.

I have grown as a woman.

I have grown as daughter of God.

I have learned from my mistakes.

I have learned to go with my gut, in spite of what I want.

I have learned the importance of family and what it means to "be there".

I have witnessed miracles in the midst of the storm.

I have learned that almost 5 years later, I still miss you.

I have learned to rely on the Holy Ghost and my Heavenly Father through the good and the bad.

I have learned that my plan isn't always the best plan.

I have learned that things always work out for my own good.

I have learned what it means to follow the prophet, blindly because you don't always understand.

I have learned the importance of education.

I have learned and grown more in the last 12 months than I ever thought I could and I will only learn and grow more in 2009.

I Think...

this is where I will be heading next.
Denber, Colorado
I think it could be good.
We'll see.

The Words

Although I am not musically inclined, music is one of the things I cannot live without. I find myself constantly creating a soundtrack of my life. Music is my way of saying what my mouth cannot. It heals me, it inspires me, it makes me believe.

I have learned to appreciate all different styles and genres of music for various reasons. I love lyrics. I love the way people are able to put words together to tell a story, or to get their point across. I also love when different artists collaborate and give a song a new feel. Here are a few that I enjoy!

Shania Twain and Elton John

Sarah McLachland and Pink

John Mayer and Colbie Caillot

Heart and Fergie

We all know Lady Marmalade. I'm a fan!

Aerosmith, Britney Spear, NSYNC, Mary J Blige

Reba and Kelly Clarkson

Although this is a commercial, I am still including it.

Talor Swift and Def Leppard

This one is just for fun :)

Alright, I will stop now. You get the idea.

Out From Under

Breathe you out
Breathe you in
You keep coming back to tell me
You're the one who could have been
And my eyes see it all so clear
It was long ago and far away but it never disappears
I try to put it in the past
Hold on to myself and don't look back

I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I'm out from under
I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under

So let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
Watch me now and I'll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you
Even when I cross the line
It's like a lie I've told a thousand times

And part of me still believes
When you ay you're gonna stick around
And part of me still believes
We can find a way to work it out
But I know that we tried everything we could try
So let's just say goodbye
Forever

I don't wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I'm out from under
I don't wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I'll get it all figured out
When I'm out from under

Wishing You a Wonderful Christmas Season!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

UNITED States of America

It is time that we as Americans need to come together in UNITY and show our support to our new President of the United States, President Barack Obama. As he states, "we are not as divided as our politics suggest."

Can we do it?

YES WE CAN

DO IT....

ABC...XYZ

A = Age: 23
B = Bed size: currently Gram's little full size
C = Chore(s) you hate: Bathroom
D = Dessert you love: Ice Cream
E = Essential start your day item: face moisturizer and OJ
F = Favorite actor(s): Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington
G = Gold or Silver: Silver
H = Height: 5'7''
I = Instruments you play: None...we always fought mom when it was time for piano...wish I would have stuck with it.
J = Job title: None- not so sure I like it :/ But its a nice break.
K = Kitchen color(s): Don't have one of my own right now, I use Gram's and its green
L = Living arrangements: Gram's basement
M = My name is: Haley
N = Nicknames: Hells, Hay, sisters have plenty that I need not mention
O = Overnight hospital stay(s): stayed overnight when I got 2 wisdom teeth out. It was worth the $600 I got paid (thank you Jean Brown Research)
P = Pets: Notta
Q = Favorite quote: "People are only has happy as they make up their minds to be"-Abe Lincoln
R = Right or left handed: Right
S = Siblings: 2 sleeza's and a littlest sister
T = Time you woke up today: 8:30 when J dropped off the rats (not actual rats, just her 2 youngest children)
U = Unique about you: I wouldn't say I am very unique, just a very ordinary girl.
V = Vegetable you love: pretty much all of them but I am excited to enjoy some sweet corn on the cob soon!
W = Worst habit: Nail biter
X = X-Rays you've had: my feet (left on sewing pin, right one TV)
Y = Yummy food you make: Everything I make is yummy!
Z = Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Lieons and Tigirls and Bears...OH MY!!!

I have heard that "the road to happiness is paved with yellow brick". I am a believer that we are not just sent here to endure to the end, but to find and enjoy true happiness along the way.

There are things that I know will bring many blessings of happiness into my life. Obtaining these things are not as easy as I'd like to think they should be, I don't understand why things that are so meaningful and so great have to be so complicated and difficult or maybe it's just me that chooses the path that is not as smooth as the others may be.

4 years ago, almost to the day, I came across this nice yellow colored path. I took a few steps and decided I liked what I saw. As I journeyed on this yellow path, I have come across some obstacles. Some obstacles were only found by stubbing my toe, some caused me to trip and fall, some just took a little more energy to cross.

After each set of obstacles was a fork in the road that if chosen, would lead back to a familiar place much like the one I had started at before. I hated the thought of starting over again on a new unfamiliar path. I chose to follow the road I was on. I was confident that I would be able to overcome any obstacles that lay ahead. Although there were warning signs of tough times ahead. I chose to press on.

I have been blessed in many ways from choosing this path. I have learned great things, seen great sights and met some wonderful people along the way.

Now four years later, I have found myself again stumbling, struggling to keep my footing. Turns out this path I have been journeying on is actually more of a orangey-yellow. Yes, I may still be able to see great things or do great things if I stay on this path but the good times will hardly make up for all the hard ships it would take to get there.

I have made the decision to take the long road back to the beginning in hopes that I will be able to find a true yellow brick road that will lead me in the right direction to find true happiness.

The Getty with Mom

Mom came into town on Wednesday to help me move. We decided to go to the Getty. There were lots of cool sculptures and things but our favorite part was the garden tour. It was cool to hear about the design of the building and to hear how the indoor and outdoor architecture and how they tied it all together.



The gardens were beautiful! We got a nice view of my apartment (the tallest white building).

Anyone Wanna Go?

I heard about Body Worlds when it was touring in LA, but it was too late. I just found out it is now in Salt Lake and I want to go. I am fascinated with the body and all the incredible things it does, and now I want the inside look...

You know you wanna!

Tuesday Tell All

If I could be on any reality TV show which would it be and why?

Not because I am fierce or that I could be America's next top model, but because of the amazing shoots they do on that show! Every week is something different. Every week I have to watch the show just to see the shoot they do. There are so many ideas that I have that have been inspired by ANTM. I would learn to like Tyra Banks if I could work on her show. (Funny story: saw her 2 weeks ago at Cheesecake Factory with 2 of her friends enjoying herself a huge rack of ribs!!!)

Here's Some Fave's:

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

As much as I love the summertime, I am SO excited for Fall and Winter. Maybe being in California for the last year and a half has changed my perspective a bit on this. There are so many things I am excited about. I can't wait for:

LOTS of family time!!!

Little kids in adorable costumes

All the festive decor

Candy

Sweater Season

Lots of Cheesy movies

Hot chocolate

Pumpkin carving

Pumpkin Pie

Scary men dressed as Santas

Snowfalling

Yummy Turkey dinner

Excitement

This year there will be lots of babies

Sitting by the fire

Apple Cider from Starbucks

Building snowmen

Homemade rolls

Buying presents and giving them

Jumping into piles of leaves

Everyone is so much more giving

Nina's Pie

Decorating the tree

Everyone helping in the Kitchen contributing in some way to the big feast

Christmas music

Just being cozy

Scarves and gloves

Leaves crunching under your feet

snow covered mountains

Trick or Treaters

Scary movies

Cinnamon Pinecones

Pecan Pie

Leaves changing colors

I anticipate that this will be the greatest Holiday season yet!

Phew!!!

There is a great amount on relief that comes with facing fears. I told my boss, amidst all the chaos that has consumed my office that I am quitting.

I have been contemplating for several months, whether or not I should move home. Do I really want to? Am I ready to leave California? What am I going to do there? Do I go to California, or Colorado? What is the right thing for me right now?

I decided that it is time to go. That the things that I came to do here are done. Did things turn out exactly like I had planned or hoped they would? No, but I have no regrets. I came here to follow my dreams. I met great people. I was involved in great things. I have grown tremendously as a person and I have learned a lot about the things that are really important to me. I know that nothing is more important to me right now than being near my family and the people that mean the most to me.

I don't have a plan. Over the course of the last 18 months, I have learned that sometimes it's okay not to know what is next for you. Sometimes you just have to take it one day at a time and see what doors open before you.

I am sad to be leaving the relationships I have built, the perfect year-round weather, the beautiful beaches, the inspiring artists I have looked up to, and the crazy people on the buses. There are so many things that I am going to miss but I will never forget the things I have learned and the friends I have met.

This change is bittersweet. I am sad to be leaving so much behind but I am excited about the things that await.

Man of Few Words

He is the most loving, patient, hard-working, tough, quiet, happy, simple, observant, and special man I have ever know. His hands are calloused and his hair is rough. His eyes twinkle, and his voice is soft. He loves to travel and see the world. He loves history and building tractors. He takes great pride in his garden. You never know exactly what he is thinking but if you ask and listen carefully he will tell you. He is never the first to speak up but his words are wise. He his a tough guy with a tender heart. When I sit next to him he will slowly reach over and hold my hand. We just sit there watching everything go on around us and when I look over at him he is smiling. This is how I know he loves me. At the end of a visit as I get ready to leave I give him a hug and he wraps his arms around me and then leans back and says softly and quickly "Now hurry back. Don't let it be so long before we see you again. I love you." I smile big and say "I love you to Gramps. I will be back soon."

Grandpa Havolyn went and had to get more tests done. They are still waiting for the results. Waiting is never easy, especially when the results may be something you don't want to hear.

But whatever they are He is a fighter, I know he will take on whatever battle comes next.

I am so grateful for this man of few words and the great lessons he has taught me and for the love he shows me. I am grateful when I am told that I am the"quiet observer" I like to think I get it from you. I love you Gramps and can't wait to see you soon.

Tutti Fruiti goodness!

For lunch $3 and I get a glorious bag of the most amazing fruit ever.
It may not look sanitary but it is delicious.

I...

I am...still finding out.
I think...I can, if I try, if I want.
I know...more than I think I do. Not as much as I allow myself.
I want...to know, peace, confidence, love.
I have...love, direction, guidance, peace.
I wish...I knew.
I hate...unhappiness, pride, unkindness.
I miss...my dad, and my family.
I fear...the unknown, chainsaws, failure.
I feel...loved, crowded, alone.
I hear...buses, sirens all day long.
I smell....the ocean breeze.
I search...daily, for you, new things.
I wonder...how things would be different if...
I regret...not loving enough, caring too little.
I love...today.
I care...more than I should at times. Sometimes not enough.
I always...look for the good.
I am not...many things but I am okay with that.
I believe...most things are possible.
I dance...when I am happy, at halloween, when no one is watching.
I sing...all the time, mostly in my head so no one can hear me.
I don't always...want to but I will.
I write...my feelings better than I say them.
I win...when I least expect it.
I lose...if I don't try.
I never... knew things could be so difficult and so simple at the same time.
I listen... to music, all music, all day long.
I create...beauty.
I can usually be found...most of the time.
I'm scared of...things that don't really matter.
I read...a little. To learn, to find answers.
I am happy about...life, for what I've learned, and for things to come.




*Anyone else?*

Look!

Yeah, that was me in like the first 1.5 seconds
(3 seconds if you count loading time).
I'm famous or something.
That was a fashion show I did almost a year ago,
and just now came across this video on YouTube.
I Love YouTube!

What a Week!

Yesterday, a 5.8 Earthquake

Today, filming with the Food Network channel.

Tomorrow Mormon Dodger Night
This has been an eventful week!

I want to help...

I have decided that its time for me to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I have always heard stories from people who have done it or know people that have done it and now its my turn. There are a bunch of different organizations that go to different 3rd world countries and work in orphanages, build communities, and educate the people of these different places. I want to do it, I am going to do it. The hard part is just finding the right people to go with. It would be great if there was a group through the church but I haven't been able to find one. I have researched a bunch but there are SO many groups. Any ideas or suggestion would be greatly appreciated!

Take my hand and follow me, There are things ahead for you to see. Little wonders are all around, And tender mercies to be found. We’ll take our time, no need to run, Breathe deep the air and feel the sun. The grass is soft beneath our feet, Sounds are soothing, the air is sweet. Sometimes we’ll stop and just be still, Our hearts will tell us God is real! Small graces along our path appear, They let us know that Heaven’s near. So take my hand anew each day, The walk is lovely and I know the way. - Greg K Olsen

"...the Lord’s tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness and obedience enable us to receive these important gifts and, frequently, the Lord’s timing helps us to recognize them.

"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies.
The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live.
When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)." -Elder David A. Bednar

6 Hours and Counting....

CAN'T WAIT!

Not so pretty...

SO this was me about 3 hours ago, literally, only a little more red in the face.
Great way to start your day in the middle of Koreatown on a gloomy Friday morning.

Life Throws Another Curveball

Every now and then, life throws you a curve ball. Unexpected, uncommon, unlucky curve balls. And every now and then, you get a hit.Whether you were trying or not, you somehow magically hit it right on target and the curve ball goes soaring through the air until eventually, it's gone. Sometimes, that curve ball is your life. The curve balls will never stop, but with a little hope and a little faith, we will always know how to soar. "Be not afraid of greatness. Some people are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them."

Fear Becomes Reality

No this picture is NOT me.

About a month ago when I was home getting my hair cut,
Cynthia couldn't help but mention a single gray hair she found on my head.
Thanks right? Freaked me out. I am only 22. I am not married and I have NO kids to blame.
I thought this was cruel and not right.

Well the other day found yet a 2nd gray hair on an entirely different part of my head.
Thats right folks I am going gray!
I guess this natural hair color things isn't going to stick around too long after all.
This is not cool, not in the least.

Tag! Your IT!

A--Attached or Single? Single
B--Best Friend? Sleeza's
C-- Cake or Pie? cheesecake
D-- Day of Choice? Saturdays, they don't come around often enough
E-- Essential Item? Ipod, it is the only thing that blocks out the ranting crazy people i commute with.
F--Favorite Color? Black and bright colors. I don't have one favorite anything
G-- Gummy Bears or Worms? Anything gummy is great
H-- Hometown? Richfield
I-- Indulgence(s)? Pinkberry with pineapple, strawberry and raspberry please
J-- January or July? July-having the 4th as a favorite holiday runs in the fam
K-- Kids? love them, don't have them, hope one day I will
L-- Life is Incomplete Without? family, gospel, music
M-- Marriage Date? I would like to know
N-- Number of siblings? 2 Older sleeza's
O-- Oranges or Apples? Any fruit will do
P-- Phobias or fears? chainsaws
Q-- Quotes? You can tell the true measure of a man by what he does for the ones that can do nothing in return.
R-- Reason to Smile? I find new reasons to smile everyday.
S-- Season? Tough one. I like them all but winter tends to be too cold, summer too hot, spring too short, and I completely missed out on fall this year. California only has 2 seasons Spring and summer.
T-- Tag 5 People? Jess Izatt, Kylene, Jess Wirth, Mehgan and Kelly
U-- Unknown Fact? Hmm...
V-- Very Favorite Store? Nordstrom and MAC
W-- Worst Habit? I have lots of bad habits...
X-- Xray or Ultrasound? X-ray of a half inch sewing pin stuck in my foot
Y-- Your Favorite Food? Again, I don't have favorites. I like all foods, except chocolate
Z-- Zodiac? Scorpio

IMATS

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to IMATS. I was there assisting the photographer for Makeup Artist Magazine and had a great time. We ran around like we were crazy to catch everything that was going on. But it was great, I got to see EVERYTHING and meet a lot of major makeup artists including Dick Smith, Bill Corso, Todd Macintosh, and Ve Neill. Unfortunately didn't get any pictures with them but definately something I will remember.

There were a lot of really great demo's and things to see including a museum of Stan Winstons projects. He passed away a week before the show, unexpectedly and the show put this gallery together as well as a special tribute that was very well put together.
Here are some pictures from his gallery.

Batman
(from a different gallery)

Nelly Recchia demo

There was so much more but didn't have time to catch it all.
Can't wait for next year!

SYTYCD

This is the first year I have watched "So You Think You Can Dance" and I am already obsessed. I loved these dances from last week and can't wait to see what they do tonight!

Happy Birthday K-Ball!

Saturday was Kimball's 28th Birthday

On Friday Amy made a delicious cake and we sang Happy Birthday.

Saturday me, Kimball, Amy, Greg, Vic, Lise, Mehgan, Tiffany, and Tommy
headed to Six Flags for a little adventure.



After sitting in line for 3 hours for X2 we were hot and exhausted.
As we walked our way to Goliath we passed this mister and Greg couldn't get enough. We literally sat there for a good 15 minutes while he cooled off.

We only rode about 4 rides, but we had a GREAT time.
Afterwards we headed to the International House of Pancakes
Where we learned a life changing lesson.
Who knew they waiters at IHOP can only read minds BEFORE 4 PM?

Happy Fathers Day

I have always been a Daddy's Girl and Fathers Day is one of those days that I don't think will ever get easier. It gives me the opportunity to look back and remember some great things about my dad. But it makes me realize all the things I miss. As I looked through my box of Dad stuff, I was thinking of all the things that I miss.

*His laugh-the contagious chuckle that escaped his wide smile.

*His hands- I have never seen such GIANT hands. He always wore his CTR ring and I swear I could fit it around two of my fingers. And the way his giant hands were always holding the hand of a small child.

*Eating all of the pink Gatorade gum and pretending that it wasn't us.

*He loved children- As I went through my box of pictures there were VERY FEW that didn't include a baby in his lap or a kid(s) at his side.

*The way he smelled.

*Saturday morning breakfasts.

*The way he loved visiting with the old and teasing the young.

*Eating ribs and french bread (with lots of butter) and ginger ale, followed by a bowl of pralines and caramel ice cream with Sandie pecan cookies.

*The way he signed his name.

*The way he crossed his legs as he tied his shoes so the bow was on the side instead of the top.

*The songs that he sang all the time-- "I like to go swimming with bull-legged women..." and the BYU Fight song. And the occasional "Heheheheheheee wipe oooout!"

I could go on and on about the things I miss. I am grateful for the Dad that he was and is and I can't wait until he can wrap his arms around me again.
Love you dad and miss you like crazy!

I will always be your SUN...SHINE!

I am Grateful

"Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as
hard things. Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in
all things' (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things,
difficult things--not just some things. He has commanded us to be
grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is
another evidence of His love."

I am grateful that through those gray clouds in the sky, the sun will still shine through.

My family. There are no words to express my gratitude to the most valuable people in my life. Some people have the best grandparents, some have the best siblings, some have the best mom or dad, some really like their cousin. But I have the best of them all. I wouldn’t trade a single relative. Even the crazy ones that at times can be a little much, I wouldn’t be who I am without them. They believe in me no matter how many times I fall. They are there to carry my burdens with me. I am grateful.

The eye of a child. I wish I could go through life with a child’s perspective. They always make the bad seem ok, the good seem great, and the dull often a little more humorous. I am grateful.

I am grateful for my bed. Sometimes I catch myself complaining that it isn’t the most comfortable bed. Up until 4 months ago I would have killed to have slept on anything that wasn’t full of air. I am grateful.

Learning of others trials and imperfections. Not because I like to see others in pain, but because I know how to feel for them. It reminds me that I am not alone and that sometimes my problems really aren’t problems at all. I am grateful.

The ordinary people in my life that make my life so extraordinary. The ones that I get to surround myself on a daily basis and learn from, grow with, and love. I am grateful.

Memorial Day Weekend

I spent memorial day weekend in Richfield with my family. It had been too long since I had been to see everyone and it made for a nice little getaway. On Sunday, I took Morgan and Parker to the park to play. I love being with these kiddos. They had so much fun playing on the slides and the teeter totter. I had my camera and as soon as I brought it out they went crazy, running from me and trying to hide from the camera. Chasing them around was tiring but I got some great shots. I love Parker's expressions in these pictures.

We went to the cemetery and I had forgotten what a sight it can be over memorial day weekend.
A million bright colored flowers covering the grounds, and such a loving, peaceful feeling.
This is one of Grandpa Havolyn's favorite things to do each year.

I Love that guy. I am so grateful for the man that he is.
For the Grandpa that he has become over the years. I love it when I get ready to leave
and he gives me a big hug, then looks me right in the eye and says in a soft, loving voice,
"I love you, now don't let it be so long before you get back here."
I am blessed to have such great grandparents.